I'm lactose intolerant. I love dairy. I'm trying a week of no dairy. I already try to eat low carbs. This is going to be a hard week. I don't even want to think about how hard its going to be should I decide to continue this beyond a week :P

Also annoying that I never really know what to attribute to diet or elsewhere. This is something that has always frustrated me. Its hard generally to make solid connections, now I have vast changes with bipolar medications to make everything even less clear!

Seems like a good diet if I can take it. Pretty much no options aside from paleo. Although I don't do veggies or beans, so something is going to have to give.

Emotionally, I fear resilience as fleeting. I have the perspective that if I can't maintain this level of function, then I don't have it.

I think that perspective largely comes out of having spent most of my life depressed. It's all going uphill, and I feel like each new fortress I claim, I'm only holding onto by virtue of pushing back an onslaught that would wash away all my progress were I to stop and take a breath.

Always pushing. Always a challenge. Not in a good way. ;)

So it is with trepidation that I'm enjoying the energy I'm having today.

I'm trying to outmaneuver myself and convince myself that just because I do something once doesn't mean that I'm committing to doing it forever, and I can just enjoy that moment without having to defend the castle I've made of sand.