Home

well isn't that interesting.

  • Sep. 1st, 2008 at 11:36 PM
shaved
I was pissed off at [info]xleste this evening. She asked if I was having any transcendental experiences, and when I described to her what my interpretation is, she told me I was totally in my head and not in my body, with the implication that one has to be in one's body for this to work.

I accused her of telling me I was doing it wrong, which she denied. I still think she was telling me that I was doing it wrong. They would say in this place that both interpretations are right anyway. I think that may be a sort of personal koan.

And speaking of personal things, I think I just had a transcendental experience in my sleep. Actually, thinking of the description more, I am less confident that it was transcendental. I think i was more of the Zen description of "being one with."

In outline form:

-I've had the experience before.

-I got there in my dream through personal experience rather than isolation of voices as practiced in big mind.

-I medicated last time because I was worried that it was mania.

-its the same as an experience I have of mania and ecstasy.



more musing )

paging back

  • Jan. 26th, 2008 at 4:36 PM
smile
I've been thinking of this entry for awhile, written December of 2004, pixies:
Patri is a little mythical creature. A sprite of joy. A beam of light who enjoys nothing more than to cast his brightness and cheer and devious pleasures on the world. He likes to bounce around freely. Exciting a beautiful woman here, making a baby smile at his silliness there, perking up a glum looking man. But even a sprite needs a place to rest. A place in the evenings where he can follow the secret passageway down to the root of a big solid oak, where a comforting warmth and safety fill the small and cozy space. That is where I live. I am the nest maker. He helps me a lot, but I keep it going and make sure it is all well and safe. And that he is well and safe, and keeping out of serious dangers while enjoying his mirth out there in the big scary world ;)

I am of a similar spirit as he. But have taken a much different road. I was the baby who was so scared of the demons who touched her that she was afraid to cry. For survival she built a thick transparent but cloudy shell. It did not hold out all of the pain, but it was enough to keep her safe inside. For her to survive with spirit intact. One problem with such shells is that they cloud one's own vision. Make it harder to get away from demons long enough to shed the shell and heal.

But I've done it. I started on my own, and have had a lot of help and support from Patri. I've been building up the nest, and my shell is but a faint glimmer now. Its not quite safe to step out of it yet, but I am optimistic that I will be ready soon.

I am a home keeper, a sentry of spirits, a healer. I do not wander too far, not out into the branches like he does, except occasionally for a glimpse or with him, but I have my antennae out there, lacing along the branches. Giving gentle warming here, a protective boundary there. The first person I had to heal was myself, but I've been helping some others along the way, a little bit here, a little bit there. Successes and failures and a lot of learning. And I've been helping Patri. And I think I am now well enough to direct almost all of my healing intentions to him. Briefly. I have grown powerful and he doesn't need much at full force :) Most of what he needs and will get from me is a warm glow. A place to rest his weary head. And a charged source of power that can light the sky when he needs it. And someone to bounce around with in the mornings before he is off to work and sometimes in the evenings and on weekends ;)

Of course, it won't be all peace and rest for him, as the nest will soon be hopping with excited young sprites, but he won't mind. They'll climb all over him like a jungle gym and he'll curl up in my lap peacefully, with a big smile on his face. And of course, steal off to his office for some private time as well :)

Tags:

pixies

  • Dec. 26th, 2004 at 5:55 PM
kiss

Patri is a little mythical creature. A sprite of joy. A beam of light who enjoys nothing more than to cast his brightness and cheer and devious pleasures on the world. He likes to bounce around freely. Exciting a beautiful woman here, making a baby smile at his silliness there, perking up a glum looking man. But even a sprite needs a place to rest. A place in the evenings where he can follow the secret passageway down to the root of a big solid oak, where a comforting warmth and safety fill the small and cozy space. That is where I live. I am the nest maker. He helps me a lot, but I keep it going and make sure it is all well and safe. And that he is well and safe, and keeping out of serious dangers while enjoying his mirth out there in the big scary world ;)

I am of a similar spirit as he. But have taken a much different road. I was the baby who was so scared of the demons who touched her that she was afraid to cry. For survival she built a thick transparent but cloudy shell. It did not hold out all of the pain, but it was enough to keep her safe inside. For her to survive with spirit intact. One problem with such shells is that they cloud one's own vision. Make it harder to get away from demons long enough to shed the shell and heal.

But I've done it. I started on my own, and have had a lot of help and support from Patri. I've been building up the nest, and my shell is but a faint glimmer now. Its not quite safe to step out of it yet, but I am optimistic that I will be ready soon.Read more... )

Tags:

Latest Month

November 2009
S M T W T F S
1234567
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
2930     

Links

Syndicate

RSS Atom
Powered by LiveJournal.com
Designed by Taylor Savvy