I've been having some amazing breakthroughs lately. In the sense of giving my model of reality a very thorough overhaul. I have disassembled it, and am in the process of putting it back together differently. Not that differently, but none the less, some pieces just had to come apart around the middle to sort the rest out.

I'll probably talk about this in more detail and more specifically in a couple of months. For now, I will post in my metaphoric notes from the past couple of days.

From two days ago:

I feel I've gone back in time. Accessed an innocent part of myself as a teenager. Kinks are coming unknotted blocking off blood that was flowing in my younger self.

From today:

I feel joyful. The last time I can recall feeling this happy was in high school. It took feeling this happy to bring up that memory. I feel like now that I've felt that it, I have returned to that state of simplicity.

Its not like I'm having something that's adding a layer of happiness on top of what I have. Instead, its like underneath it all, I am happy. I'm currently unkinking blockages and excavating debree. So when I get off the SSRI, the changes will stay, because the drug is being used as a tool rather than a supplement.

In other words, its that I am doing exploration of my paradigm of reality *while* I am on the SSRI that is making this process go at lighting speed. I probably would have made slow progress with just one or the other, but having already ramped up on the meditation and Shambhala exploration, and having started exercising and eating better during the months before, the effort of that has been launched into a burning fruition.