Today's class was about cultural sensitivity, and about sensitivity to people who are different in general. It was sort of a mini Effective Influence group, I wish we'd been able to take it into more depth like EI, but there's only so much we can do in 40 hours of training.

Another aspect was not making assumptions. For example, you don't know that someone from Mexico is a person of color. Also heartening was that there are ways in which someone who is with an abusive partner to be allowed in the US can keep their US status while leaving the abuser. We haven't talked much about that yet, but the implication is that there is hope.

Today I was much more in my comfort zone. On Saturday we talked more about legality aspects and resources, and I feel a bit overwhelmed by that. While I'm by far not the best at connecting with feelings and cultural nuances, I know I have a good head start with all of the work that I've done. And I'm excited to actually have a venue for using some of what I've learned doing that work.

At the effective influence conference I went to, there were two things said by an older black woman to the group that baffled me. Regarding inequalities, one thing that was said was "I don't want your guilt." Another thing said was "I don't want you to do anything, just *be.*" These sentiments were frustrating, having just been through an intensive conference with new perspective and heightened awareness of racism. "What can I do?" was a natural response for most of the white people in the group, certainly me.

The guilt piece is starting to make more sense to me. For one, its just a big waste of energy. I was talking with a friend the other day who was being consumed with a combination of caring and guilt. It became very clear to me that the guilt was sapping most of the energy that she could be putting into making the world a better place: what she would do from a place of caring if her energy wasn't tied up in making herself wrong.

Another part about guilt that I was thinking about this morning is that its a flip side of resentment. Maybe even neediness and anger. Of course no one wants to deal with all of that baggage. Guilt is all about the person feeling it, it isn't helpful.

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The Effective Influence conference that I attended had a major impact on me. This is for two reasons. One is personal growth. Another is one that I hadn't seen coming. I have been skimming the top on the issue of racism.

I believed myself not to be racist. I never delved into the issues. I grew up not knowing many black people, and never getting into racial conversations with those I did know.

It never occurred to me to think about how it must feel like, as a black man, to have people cross the in fear street as I approach. As a regular experience in my life. It never occurred to me what it would be like to live as a black woman, in a white professional work environment, being treated as a representative for my entire race.

At the conference I was really impressed, having a better perspective on the different experiences of people of color and whites. I feel that I now understand that difference a lot better than I did, and I feel that I am privileged.

In light of what I was learning, one of the most powerful exchanges for me was between a white woman and a black woman. The white woman asked: "which do you prefer, black or African American?" Someone else in the group pointed out that someone white would never be asked a similar question. Culturally in the US, we take it for granted that white people are individuals. People of minorities are use to being classified in groups. My African American friend who was being spoken to was so used to questions about her categorization that she didn't notice the subtext of the categorization until it was pointed out.

When we divided into groups, related to The System* exercise, the most passionate response of the white people at the front was to be offended by being categorized. The organizer said that this is essentially what every group of people in the front of the line say when he does this exercise.

After The System exercise, we had a group lecture where a facilitator discussed how more privileged people don't tend to realize the experience of minorities, because they don't have to. They "are" treated as individuals, and therefore don't have the experience to understand what its like to walk into a room and know that the first thing people will notice is the color of their skin.

As a Jew of my generation, I haven't experienced much racism. But I've heard my dad talk about how Jews weren't allowed into places that we've passed which he pointed out, not many years ago. It hurts to hear, and I don't forget it. As a Jew I can blend. I can ignore racism. My black friends cannot.

I just watched Obama's speech on racism and was moved to tears. I have not studied his campaign and do not feel that I have enough information to judge his politics.

I have just attended a conference from which I now have a much better understanding of his racial messages. It pains me that I probably wouldn't have spent the time to watch that video a mere month ago. It pains me that I probably wouldn't have understood it if I had watched it.

This video is not short, but if you can make the time, I implore you to watch it with an open mind and heart. History is being made.



* _{I will talk more about The System in another post}